Published in the October 16, 2006 edition of the Ventura County Star
"Boys will be boys" was the principal's flippant response when I complained that big, beefy upperclassmen had been terrorizing my seventh-grader on a daily basis. That, of course, was some nine years B.C. (before Columbine).
Although, according to the U.S. Department of Education, nearly 5 million children are physically or verbally harassed by classmates each year, and as many as half are tormented at some time during their school years, it took a series of tragic shootings at Fort Gibson, Okla.; Savannah, Ga.; New Orleans; Baltimore; Santee, Calif.; Williamsport, Pa.; Granite Hills, Calif.; Cold Spring, Minn.; and Jacksboro, Tenn., to prompt zero-tolerance policies across the nation.
In a simpler age, a schoolyard hulk managed to extort lunch money or hassle the popularity-challenged by employing physical intimidation. The bridge to the 21st century, however, has paved the way for a new strain of tormentor who is clever, creative and computer-savvy. In fact, the persecution that used to transpire in unsupervised locker rooms or crowded hallways during passing time are now being carried out on MySpace, Xanga, Facebook or Friendster.
Forty-five million youngsters in the United States currently enjoy access to the World Wide Web. Moreover, this hyper-connected generation spends an average of 12 hours a week online. Only 16 percent, however, talk to their parents about what actually transpires on their computer screens.
Despite the fact that Internet service providers require acceptance-of-use policies and defamation can still land victimizers and/or their parents in court, some teens have opted to misappropriate the Internet to deliver vicious jokes, threatening messages, malicious gossip, embarrassing information or lewd photographs via e-mail, instant messaging, blogs, bulletin boards, chatrooms, profiles, text messaging or specially constructed Web sites. In fact, built-in digital cameras in cell phones provide an additional high-tech tool to the bully's arsenal of aggravation techniques. It is not unusual for snapshots of chubby classmates taking showers or teenage lovebirds caught in compromising situations to be posted within seconds of a shutter click.
Brigham Young University's David Nelson claims: "Cyberbullying is far more effective in terms of inflicting damage than typical relationally aggressive strategies we've seen in the past. For example, before the advent of instant messaging and MySpace.com, it took a lot longer to spread a rumor and do any major damage to someone's reputation. Now, a reputation can be affected within a matter of minutes."
Because bullies tend to harass their victims away from the watchful eyes of parents — 50 percent of kids are online without adult supervision — the Internet is the perfect medium for reaching others, anytime, anyplace. This means for many, home no longer provides a refuge from hounding or harassment.
Furthermore, cyberbullies can screen their actual identities by exploiting the anonymity the Internet provides. Without being forced to confront their innocent victims face to face or to face up to the emotional wounds they have caused, feelings of remorse can be squelched and empathy never has a chance to curb malicious behavior.
What has been staggering sociologists these days is the burgeoning evidence that bullies are increasingly female. So much for "boys will be boys." A recent study by Amanda Burgess-Proctor, Justin W. Patchin and Sameer Hinduha seems to reflect, in an art-mirrors-life manner, the subject matter of the 2004 film "Mean Girls."
While 38 percent of the 8- to 17-year-old females in their survey responded positively to the statement, "I have been bullied online," the majority of victims not only claim to know her tormenter personally but reported that she was either a friend (31.3 percent) or a classmate (36.4 percent). The researchers were further shocked to learn that some 27.3 percent of the girls victimized online reacted by cyberbullying back. In fact, only an insignificant few responded by contacting the appropriate Internet service provider, their parents or school officials.
Furthermore, the fairer sex seems to be taking up bullying at an alarmingly early age. A 2005 study published by David Nelson, Clyde Robinson and Craig Hart reported such aggressive behavior in girls of, gasp, preschool age.
So, what's to be done? Since parents are the primary character educators and bullying of any sort remains, without a doubt, a character issue, Nancy Willard, in " I Can't See You — You Can't See Me," concluded, "We should, therefore, not be surprised if, in an unsupervised environment, teens fail to act in accord with the values that are hopefully part of their emerging internal personal moral code."
As to personal moral codes, the Golden Rule isn't a bad place to start. And if the "do unto others" admonition isn't enough for you — there's always "the life you save may be your own."
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